Questions one must ask...

• How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
• Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
• Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
• What disease did cured ham actually have?
• How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
• Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
• Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
• Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
• If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?