Saturday, April 08, 2006

I'm exhausted...

The last few days have been a blur of memories, moving boxes, making plans, and sifting through pictures.

Friday, I headed to Mike's house, my godson wasn't there - I had a good chat with Mike & Kasey and then Mike & I had our speaker sessions. That means we played a few choice Jars of Clay songs and just sat and chatted. I didn't have much to say, I just felt like listening to music. Maybe eventually, he & I'll be able to chat more and I can express more what I'm going through.

I didn't get a lot of time to talk to my mom or grandma - we were all so busy. No piano was played at my house, too much to do - however, with the downsizing of Grandma's stuff to my parents' house... that piano will make its way (somehow) to my house this summer.

Family and friends sent cards, prayers, and food.
Hugs were passed around, along with boxes, furniture, and memories.

Since Gramp's passing on Thursday, I've grieved through my writing of some memories and received a ton of support from family and friends. Thanks to everyone who replied with kind words filled with promises of extended prayer to my family during this time.

Gram stated yesterday, "Eventually, reality will sink in" as she pulled one of his caps out of a box (he always seemed to wear his hat off to the side just a bit). I think that will happen more and more when all the 'firsts' happen. Her upcoming first birthday without him. Traveling with my parents. Nights alone.

For me... putting away unopened boxes of graham crackers was a bit tough.

We got her settled in her new (smaller) apartment, although 'settled' is far from the truth. I was able to take part in part of the memorial service/celebration of life planning. Gram was okay with me (and the cousins) sharing a few thoughts as well as anyone else that wants to. This is what I think a memorial service should be about. It is the best way to learn about someone from people that knew the person from various times in their life.

Driving around today taking items to Goodwill and a storage unit with my uncle was great as I don't get a chance to talk to him much. He told me some mischievous stories about Gramp and some I had never heard regarding Gramp's interest in electronics.

The service is just after Easter, I have so many more things I want to say - I may have to write them all down and send them out to the family. I think I will grieve the most then. The service will be at their church. The same church my grandparents spend most of the retired life at - volunteering their time planting trees, working in the kitchen, and helping with the church finances. The same church I used to run around the sanctuary in. The same church I'd sit between my grandparents while trying to remain quiet and of course, trying to pay attention to the pastor. When I think of the church, I think of my grandparents. Being in that church is when I think "reality will sink in" as I'll be up at the podium reading what I wrote about Grandpa, looking out - but only seeing Grandma.

Grandpa planted trees at the church, planted fruit and vegatables in their garden, and he (along with Gram) planted in his kids and grandkids the love for God , family, & close friends. I couldn't have asked for a better grandfather.

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