Friday, December 23, 2005

The "original" Star Wars themed Christmas letter...

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... (Just this year in Omaha, Nebraska...)

I visited my good little green friend, Master Yoda on the Dagobah system not too long ago. For your reading pleasure, I have transcribed our conversation. By the way, he says, “Merry Christmas, have a”.

Chad: “Let me tell ya Master Yoda, this has been a very busy year for me.”
Master Yoda: “Mmmmmmmm?”
C: “Yeah, way back in January, RoomMate Productions had their big film premiere. We showed three films, a film trailer, and a blooper reel. I couldn’t believe it – we had a packed house.”
Y: “That is why you fail.”
C: “What do you mean, Yoda? It was a success.”
Y: “Powerful you have become, the dark side I sense in you.”
C: “Nah, no power, no dark side – it was cool to have so many people there. And now I can’t wait for another premiere to show three more films early next year.”
Y: “Grave danger you are in. Impatient you are. Why wish you become Jedi?”
C: “What do you mean? There isn’t danger, but yes, I’ll admit – I’m impatient. I prefer to be a writer, over being a Jedi.”
Y: “Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.”
C: “Well, my future ahead looks pretty good... although, all this movie stuff makes it hard to focus on other projects.”
Y: “The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.”
C: “You are right about that. Oh yeah, I meant to tell you that I finally got out of my apartment and moved into a house, it is so much bigger than my apartment.”
Y: "Size matters not! Judge me by my size, do you?"
C: “I know, I know, but still – nice to have more space. Anyway... after my book Left Standing was self-published in February, I began to work on my second book, Left Unsaid. Although, I have started, I am not sure what to write next.”
Y: “Help you I can, yes. Strong am I with the force. Stay and help you I will. Happens to every guy sometimes this does.”
C: “Really? That would be awesome. I would appreciate all the help I can get.”
Y: "A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. Concentrate...feel the Force flow. Yes. Good. Calm, yes. Through the Force, things you will see.”
C: “Wow, that helped. Thanks. I’ll try my best to keep writing.”
Y: “Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.”
C: “Okay, okay, okay...”
Y: “A Jedi's strength flows from the Force. You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge.”
C: “You don’t say? Hmmm... I got it, Good vs Evil sounds like a good plot. What else? Oh yeah, I turned 28 this year, and...”
Y: “When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not.”
C: “Yeah, I bet not.” (laughing)
Y: “Already know you that which you need. You must unlearn what you have learned."
C: “Well, I hope so, sometimes I don’t know. I just need to focus and commit.”
Y: “A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind."
C: “Yeah, I know, but writing isn’t exactly exciting.”
Y: "Adventure. Heh! Excitement. Heh! A Jedi craves not these things."
C: “Oh, I see. Well, I gotta head back to Omaha.”
Y: “May the force be with you.”

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